Chattin’ with Tiffany Peterson
When Tiffany speaks, it’s as if the world itself stands still so as to glean a little bit of her wisdom, which is fitting because Tiffany’s website is Tiffanyspeaks.com. Seriously, Tiffany is such an incredible human being and has such valuable insights on what sales is really all about. Everything stems from self-care.
Tiffany has worked at many notable companies and has made millions and millions of dollars for them. She has now started her own company coaching small and large businesses about the energy behind sales and how you can thrive. Our conversation today waxed philosophical quite a bit, even though we didn’t plan it that way.
We went down some deep roads and explored what it means to truly value yourself. Honestly, we are both trying to figure who needs to invoice who for the therapy session we had. Hope you enjoy this podcast!
Who Is Tiffany Peterson?
Tiffany Peterson wasn’t always going to be a life coach. She wasn’t always going to be the voice of wisdom that so many turn to. She wasn’t always going to help adults envision — and reach — their life goals. At the very start of it all, Tiffany Peterson was going to be a teacher.
This is not such a far cry from what she does now in her coaching work, when you think about it. Although she had always imagined herself in a more traditional teaching role, taking charge of the education of little children, coaching does still offer her the chance to guide people and, with their permission, of course, molding them into the people they really can be.
Of course, all this is not to say that Tiffany Peterson never did fulfill her dream of being a teacher. She certainly did, helping children who had learning challenges and various disabilities. She did this for two years, all while working towards her degree.
Launching Her Career
However, once Tiffany graduated, the classroom was no longer the place in which she felt she was most needed. She moved on to a career in sales which, although it may sound entirely different from teaching, also has plenty of similarities; a teacher and a salesperson must both be persuasive and engaging if they are to do well, so it was clear that Tiffany Peterson would be able to take the knowledge she had gained through her degree and her practical teaching efforts and combine them into an astonishing sales career. And she did.
Tiffany worked at Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Jack Canfield, and FranklinCovey in a sales role, and in this impressive career she achieved record-setting and record-beating sales. She was so good at what she did that she even received industry awards for leadership, and she was soon promoted to a training position over and above “simple” sales. Again, Tiffany Peterson’s teaching training would stand her in good stead as she was to become a mentor to many who wanted to know just how she did what she did in terms of sales. She was so good that it made sense to have her in a place where others could learn from her and use her systems and sales methods to achieve outstanding results.
During this time, Tiffany Peterson realized that teaching really was what she was meant to do with her life. Although it had taken her some time to come to this conclusion, and although she had tried other things — and been highly successful at them — there was nothing like the thrill of seeing how a life could change because of a lesson learned and truly understood.
Becoming a Life Coach
But was teaching sales techniques alone where she needed to be focusing her energies? Should she go back to the classroom and start again where she had left off before? The answer, as it turned out, was neither of these things. Instead, Tiffany Peterson decided to strike out on her own. She started The Lighthouse Principles in 2010 and has never looked back.
This life coaching business felt right. It felt like exactly what was needed. And yet Tiffany had never done anything like this before. She had never even worked for herself, let alone launched a business and coached other people on how to achieve their dreams. She felt a little overwhelmed with no training, no business knowledge, and hardly a resource to her name.
Yet she did have a lot going for her. There was her faith in God and herself. These two things combined meant she was completely sure that what she was doing was the right thing and that she would succeed. Add to this her passion for helping others live their best lives and her knowledge of what makes people tick, and she pushed on. Through adversity and challenges, Tiffany Peterson made her dream come true; her passion speaks for itself.
Tiffany Peterson says that her dream of being a teacher has developed, evolved, and become a “global platform” rather than a traditional classroom. She is still as excited by this today as she always was. And why not? Tiffany can work anywhere in the world that she wants to, and she can help countless individuals achieve their dreams just as she achieved hers. It’s a life that many would envy, but remember, as Tiffany herself would attest, anything is possible. If this is what you want, or you have any other kind of dream, working towards making it come true should be a priority.
Tiffany Peterson Podcast Transcription
Charan: Oh my gosh, Tiffany. We’re rolling. This is live. Everything is live.
Tiffany: Okay, live. Hi friends.
Charan: Hi, hi. Hi friends. Are you nervous?
Tiffany: A little bit, because I didn’t know I was meeting such a famous person. I want his autograph.
Charan: Well, where’s the pen? And only if I can get your autograph as well because I’ve heard amazing things about you. Now, we start this off typically, Tiffany, while opening this little lemonade deal that we’ve got going on. Have you had a sip of yours yet?
Tiffany: I have. I’ve tried it.
Charan: What do you think?
Tiffany: Mine is lemon ginger, which I thought was appropriate, being a ginger. I’m representing that team today.
Charan: Funny enough, I have a little bit of red hair going on in my head.
Tiffany: Not really.
Charan: Just a little bit. Here’s what’s happening-
Tiffany: Are we going to “cheers”?
Charan: Yeah, let’s do it.
Tiffany: What are we “cheer-sing” to, though?
Charan: Let’s “cheers” to an almost end of 2020.
Tiffany: There we go.
Charan: That’s a great end.
Tiffany: And to new beginnings.
Charan: And to new beginnings.
Tiffany: There we go.
Charan: Oh gosh, that’s actually really pretty good. Okay, let’s start this thing off. Let’s start this thing off. What’s going on, guys? My name is Charan Prabhakar, and this is the Lemonade Stand podcast, and I’m here with Tiffany Peterson, who is a delightful human being. We talked about her being a life and business coach, has been able to help inspire tons and tons of different small businesses, large businesses, explode in sales, grow their business and has just been an awesome person. Here’s the interesting thing. Just being around you, I feel like I’m growing as a human being, as a person. Just your aura, your essence.
Charan: Earlier today, I was listening to a little podcast you were giving about self-care, which I thought was so profound and important. And one of the things that it said was about a safe place to come home to. Right?
Tiffany: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Tiffany Peterson Talks About Becoming an Entrepreneur
Charan: Love that, so that I want to definitely talk a little bit about that. Lemonade Stand podcast is all about your lemonade stand story. How you got into being an entrepreneur, what drove you to this line of work anyway, and it’s cool because this is a type of path that you literally created for yourself. It’s like, “Okay, I’m going to get the 9:00 to 5:00 and this is my job.” This is more like, “Nope, this is a very intentional path that I’ve created.” I’d love to dive into that as well. So, let’s do this. Tell me all about you and how you got going into being an entrepreneur.
Tiffany: Well, I will, and can I just say it’s so fun seriously to be with you.
Charan: What? Are you serious? Come on.
Tiffany: You just have so much great energy, and I love what Lemonade Stand is all about because to me, it’s all about possibility and the dream, and I mentioned to you this before we clicked recording, you guys, I did have a lemonade stand as a little girl a few times.
Charan: It’s amazing.
Tiffany: I was selling that lemonade as a little kid. I had the entrepreneurial bug then, perhaps.
Tiffany: But my own story is, I grew up here in Salt Lake City, Utah, and I thought my traditional life path, I thought I was going to be a traditional educator, and specifically special needs. I work while I was going to the U. Go Utes. I just have to plug that in here with all this blue.
Charan: I’m glad you did. This is definitely-
Tiffany: You got to have some diversity and balance-
Charan: You really need to.
Tiffany: … in this blue room here in Utah County, but I love the Cougs, too. I’m a kittycat fan. Don’t get me wrong. Anyway, that little tug right in there.
Charan: Well, I’m glad that you did, because you always need to plug the diversity. That’s why I moved to Provo. I’m like, Provo has zero diversity. I need to be there.
Tiffany: Yeah, you’re going to be celebrated here big time.
Charan: Well, was I celebrated? I don’t know, but I like-
Tiffany: Well, we’re celebrating you now.
Charan: We’re celebrating me now.
Tiffany: There we go.
Charan: Yeah, we’re celebrating me now.
Tiffany: I went to the U and I was going to school, and I worked in a couple of classrooms of special needs kids. So, I thought I was going to be a special needs teacher, and I was an aide to the teacher. I was going to school, and then I had this happenstance meeting where I met this couple, and this woman was telling me about her dad’s training and development company. I went to work for them, and then I went to work for FranklinCovey, and that put my life on just a totally different trajectory where I was going into sales and selling personal development programs. I was selling coaching before anyone ever even heard of a coach.
Charan: Oh my gosh, [crosstalk 00:05:23].
Tiffany: This whole coaching industry now, which I love, it’s changed so much over the last many, many years but watching that where now everyone understands, “Oh, I have a coach.” A life coach, a health coach, an organization coach. Coaching as a concept has really become an adapted mainstream.
Charan: It really has, and it’s interesting because Steven Covey … I’m friends with his son, Josh Covey, his youngest son, because we went to school together. So I remember going to their house, and he was just so profound in his words when he would speak to me, and I don’t know if you had a chance to interact with him when you were working there or anything like that?
Tiffany: Pretty minimal. I was selling the courses and stuff.
Charan: Just the wisdom that he had, frankly I didn’t really know what he was saying, but I just knew, “Oh man, this guy is incredibly wise.”
Tiffany: Amazing. It was a huge blessing. Early on in my corporate career, I worked for FranklinCovey, sold coaching for them, and went on to achieve some really cool sales designations and some awards. And because of that, they asked me to start doing training, so then I was over all the sales training and worked for a couple other brands, Rich Dad, Poor Dad and Jack Canfield, a lot of brands in this personal growth world, and I helped them make millions and millions and millions of dollars. Then I was this trainer and I fell in love with training, and I was teaching mindset and the power of your thoughts and goals and intention matched with or mixed in with sales training and how to be better at sales.
Tiffany: Never in a million years … I think it’s really important to say this, though, about my lemonade stand story. I never in a million years thought I would be in sales, let alone my own business. I mean, I truly thought my trajectory was, I’m going to school, I’m going to get an education degree, teach school and then I’m going to get married and be a stay-at-home mom and sew Halloween costumes. That was what I thought my life was going to be.
Charan: That was your dream.
Tiffany: Yeah, very much so. And even though I’ve stuffed my dog in the past in a Halloween costume-
Charan: That’s so great.
Tiffany: I was that person. You know how you judge people for things? And then you become the person you judge? I was the person. I was like, “Are you seriously going to put your animal in an outfit?”
Charan: I’m going to judge you right now in hopes that I can get a dog to put a costume on. I was really lame for judging you.
Tiffany: It’s just my life went on a different path and for me, it was very God-guided. Faith is a big part of my life, and I worked corporate for many years in sales and never, ever again thought I’d be in sales, because most of us are thinking, “I’m not going to be in sales.” When you were a young kid, 9, 10 years old, you weren’t thinking, “When I grow up, I hope I’m in sales.” And your parents weren’t thinking that about you, either. We didn’t grow up with that mindset.
Tiffany: Now, we’re understanding the power of sales is really about great communication, the ability to solve people’s problems, help them get their needs met. That great sales is great service. We’ve had a new patterning of what it means to be in sales, but never did I think I was going to be in sales. I thought I was going to be a traditional teacher and then raise babies. But even teaching is a sales process. Getting kids to pay attention is a sales process. Or having babies and getting them to go to bed on time or do their chores — sales process.
Tiffany: We just don’t always think of it that way. So, I had this great career working for some great brands, and then I went out on my own almost 11 years ago — yeah, it’s 11 years ago this season — and started my own little business. I had no idea, truthfully, what I was doing. I had never run a business. I’d never even had a side hustle, as that word or concept is now really popular, but I knew I could sell and I loved helping people get their needs met. And I loved helping them progress, so I started my own little business. No business loan. Drained my full savings account in a year and learned so much.
Tiffany: But I learned so much about the power of a dream, the power of partnering with your higher power, and the power of … I like to say that God is your best chief marketing officer there is.
Charan: Oh my gosh.
Charan: Yes, yes.
Tiffany: He’s going to open all the doors and do all the things and whatnot. You just think about, you still do the work, you got to show up and do the work, but it’s just, what a path. I mean, 11 years ago that I started my own little gig and I’ve just loved it. Now I mostly spend time with people who have a business and coach and work with them and speak at all kinds of conferences and just help individuals through true success principles of sales and mindset and some self-care, because you got to take care of the goose that’s laying the golden eggs. All three of those things, I love to just hold space and help people with that.
Charan: Man, oh my gosh. There’s a billion questions and I’m going to try funneling it to one question. I’m just kidding.
Tiffany: Go with whichever one you want to ask the most.
Charan: I know, I know. I need to. Well, here’s the thing. To relate to what you were saying, it’s so interesting when you have a life path that you think is your life path, and then to have a higher power or God come in and say, “Uh, I have something better for you, and I’ve got something much greater for you.” And to have Him put a dream in your heart and in your mind that is so much greater than the concept of who you think you even are, and then to say, “Hey, no. With me, we can do that together.” That was what happened with me and acting.
Charan: I thought for sure, being Indian, I was like, “Ah, I’m going to be a doctor. I’ve got no choice.”
Tiffany: I’m going to be a doctor or I get to create amazing software or-
Charan: Yeah, it’s going to be great. That’s what I’m going to do.
Tiffany: Those are my choices.
Tiffany Peterson Talks About the Relationship Between Sales and Relationships
Charan: Those are my choices. I have nothing else. That was the choice that my dad had put in my head. I said, “Listen, Dad, I have been a doctor now multiple times on different TV shows. Aren’t you happy? Aren’t you happy?” It was interesting because you talk about the sales process being a process of communication and gentle persuasion almost, and that is what acting is. When I go to auditions, I have to sell them that, “Hey, I’m your guy that you want to use for this particular role.” It really is such an important facet of your life, sales is. How did you get to that point where you could flip the idea of what salespeople think they are versus what they really are? Does that make sense?
Charan: Because so many times, you say, “Oh, you’re in sales. Okay, all right. I got it. No thanks.” But yet you make a business of it. So, how did you get that shift in that mindset?
Tiffany: Gosh, that is such a good question.
Charan: Come on, are you serious?
Tiffany: I mean, for real. A great question.
Charan: Come on.
Tiffany: No, seriously.
Charan: All right.
Tiffany: I really think those two things that make someone great in sales, number one is that you show up to serve and you show up from a place of … A lot of times I’ll talk about and I’ll teach this concept of nourish or network, and the power. We’re all in the people business. So whether you’re in acting, you’re a hairstylist, you’re a real estate agent, you’re a life coach, you sell software, you’re ultimately in the people business, so the power of taking care of your relationships … I’m here today because of a relationship that I met through another relationship that I met through another relationship. It’s how you track back, how I got to this moment in time is through this connection and through relationships.
Tiffany: So when we prioritize relationships, and we make people matter, we make service matter … I saw one of the beautiful posters that are here in the office that says, “Sales will go up and down. Service is forever.” I was like, “Ooh, I like them. They get it.” When we understand the more that I show up in this connection or any relationship, and it’s “Teach me about you. What are your needs or what makes you feel valued, seen and important?” Human beings have the same core needs. Even though we’re so different on the outside, where in terms of we might vote differently or fashion choices or the foods we like or music we dig, even though we have differences, foundationally as a human, you and I and everyone watching or listening has the same need to say, “I want to feel respected. I want to feel seen. I want to feel like I matter, to feel appreciated, to feel heard.”
Tiffany: I love to say feeling heard in any relationship, it’s oxygen to the relationship. It doesn’t mean you’ll always agree, and that’s what I think the U.S. — no, it’s a general statement, as the world at large — we could use more of isn’t about that we have differences. It’s can we hold space for each other in those differences? Can I seek to understand you? Because a relationship doesn’t end because you have differences. Relationships end because respect leaves the room.
Charan: Oh, I love that.
Tiffany: Does that make sense?
Charan: Yeah, completely.
Tiffany: Foundationally, if I show up more intentionally in relationships to say, “I want you to feel important to me, to feel seen and to feel valued,” I’m going to do also things that it’s like, “Hey, if this is your favorite drink or treat,” it’s like hey, send you a case of that for Christmas or-
Charan: That’s amazing, yeah.
Tiffany: Or thank-you notes or, “Hey, I just wanted to invite you to this thing or this thing or that.” Or again, just our presence with people. So that’s the first part of being great in sales is we’re great at connection, because connection, I love to teach my sales training, connection equals client equals cash. How you create more contracts is through your connections. How you create more business is the power of relationship. People feel valued with you or with your sales team. They feel heard when they call into the call center. They feel taken care of. That’s the heartbeat of a great, thriving business of sales of any kind is the heartbeat is service.
Tiffany: I know we know that, so I’m just reminding us of something, we go, “Yeah, that’s true.” The second part of being great insurance sales, which reinforces the first, is you become great at asking good questions. It isn’t about our old scripting thought process of sales is, “Oh, they have the gift of gab.” Or they’re charismatic or charming, or all of that, versus it’s more about am I showing up and I’m seeking to understand. You talk about Stephen Covey and the Seven Habits. “Seek first to understand before you’re understood” is quality gold. That’s a great mantra for personal relationships, for business is, let me understand you. Teach me about you. What are your goals? What are your challenges in your company, in your personal, in your business. Whatever the thing is you do in business is thinking about how do I want to ask more questions.
Tiffany: Those two things, that’s how you change the mindset about it, of the old, “Ew, I’m in sales.” It’s like, “Yeah, I’m in sales.” What that means really is, I’m in exceptional service. I’m in the business of helping people get their needs met, their pain solved or their dreams achieved of what you’re up to in a business. I don’t know what you think about all that but-
Charan: Well no, here’s the thing. That’s exactly what I think about this. In that last bit, you were just saying, it feels to me that it’s about solving their problem and helping with service, with genuine actual service and not thinking, “Hey, what’s in it for me? How can I get my commission?” It’s more of a, “No, I’m really here for you.”
Charan: It really is the role of a servant in a sense, and they’re all about serving other people and helping people out. One of the things that struck me as well is you were saying people want to have a voice. They want to be heard and that relationships end because respect leaves the room. But, and I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of this, the word “trust” … Have you ever heard of the definition of the word “trust”?
Tiffany: No, teach me.
Charan: Trust, I think it’s a Scandinavian root, but it means “to be comfortable while you’re vulnerable.” I love that definition. So to say, “Hey, I trust you” means, “Hey, I can become completely vulnerable around you and I’m going to be completely comfortable.” I think creating the space for that allows people to really just open up and say, “Yeah, I feel good. I can actually open and share and not feel judged or anything like that.”
Tiffany Peterson Talks About the Importance of Self-Care
Charan: So, we talked a little bit about self-care. How is it that having care for yourself would help other people find you safe to go to?
Tiffany: Gosh, you are a great question asker.
Charan: Come on, are you serious?
Tiffany: I’m serious.
Charan: Gosh dang it. All right.
Tiffany: You’re just rocking this.
Charan: Are you serious?
Tiffany: This is joyful.
Charan: I’m going to take another sip.
Tiffany: Yeah, go for it. Go for it. That is a great question because see, sometimes people, they’ll get curious about when they hire me to be their coach, and often, again, they’re hiring me to grow their sales. Out of the gate, whether they’re a private client, group client or if we’re doing this in a live audience type scenario, sales strategy number one is increase your self-care.
Charan: Wow, I love that.
Tiffany: And you might say, “Hm, what does self-care and sales have in common?” Everything is energy. This is one of those universal principles. Everything’s energy. When you walk into a room, you have a vibration. We live in a vibrational universe. Certain places that you love to go to, or you don’t want to go to, they have an energy and a vibration. Certain brands you love to follow, a big reason is because how it makes you feel.
Tiffany: Everything is energy, including you. So, when you’re taking excellent care of yourself, or at least increasing taking care of yourself, because it’s not about perfection, when you feel better, you perform better. When you feel better, you have more confidence. When you feel more confident, you take more risks. When you feel more confident, or you feel better, you’re more likely to think of someone else and reach outside of yourself when you feel good. When you feel better, you’re going to have more patience in your parenting, if applicable. Just because, again, so when we think about self-care, the direct correlation to sales, everything being energy is that one of the best things that I can do for myself before say a big presentation is to make sure I sleep really well. I’ve gotten a good workout in. I’ve done my meditation practice, my reading, my grounding type practices … is that you put yourself in a great place.
Tiffany: You’re the vessel, or the goose with the golden eggs. You know about that story, Stephen Covey’s work, but it’s like you’ve got to invest in the vessel. So sometimes when we think we want to be more successful, we got to burn the candle at both ends. That’s actually the opposite. That’s repellent to what you want. Now I understand there are seasons you’re hustling, you’re on a deadline, you’re on an acting gig, like hey, it’s a late night, but the reality is, is that your norm that you establish some self-care practices of body, mind, heart and spirit where you nourish yourself.
Tiffany: I have on my website a free download. You can find it at TiffanySpeaks. Free resources, no strings attached, and there’s this really beautiful … My designer created it … great worksheet and this training on body, mind, heart, spirit of how to legit start to move that needle. You hear these quotes all over Instagram or Facebook, and you’re like, “Oh, self-care and take good care of yourself and the relationship with you sets the tone for your relationship with everyone else.” You hear all these things, right?
Charan: Of course.
Tiffany: You’ve heard them and seen them. Well, the reality of, “Okay, I’m going to choose to have a better relationship with me. I’m going to choose to take better care of me,” and in doing so, it’s actually a deposit in every relationship with people you do life with. To be more influential is like, “Hey, where’s my energy at?” You’ve met people when you meet their energy or you meet them, they’re like, “Wow.” And, then you’ve also met people, they walk into a room and they’re like …
Charan: Yeah, and you’re like, “Oh boy.”
Tiffany: You’re like, “Not my …” Because everything, again, being energy and so the more that it’s like are you comfortable in your own skin, do you like who you are? Now, this is life work. I’ve been learning this. And they say you teach most what you need to learn, so I’ve had to learn some of these lessons the hard way where I spent a lot of my life … I mean, you mentioned vulnerable and real, I’ve learned this lesson over and over again about giving away my self-esteem outside of me. I’ve put it in the hands of someone else.
Charan: You gave your power away.
Tiffany: Yeah, and then I said my self-worth was based on other people’s opinions of me and your status, or how many Instagram likes that you have, or the number on a scale, or your bank account or your achievements, or this doctor title, or whatever. A lot of times as humans, we’re on a self-love, self-worth journey, even if we don’t know that we are. So, it’s just choosing to say, “You know what?” Like the question you said is, “What if I could see about myself, coming home to me, what if I could become the safest place I know?” And that I’m going to have my own back, and then I’m going to take better care of me, not perfect but committed to taking better care of myself … Again, mind, body, heart, spirit. I’m going to show up so much more influential, at work, in my sales goals, in my relationships, in my parenting or any of these other areas of your life that are other important goals is, I think, if you make yourself a priority, you change the game. You totally change the game.
Charan: One billion percent agree. This is life-altering, awesome stuff. Guys, if you’re listening to this, you just heard Tiffany speak hardcore. No, but here’s the thing, which I love that you were saying. I’m a prayerful guy. I’ve always been a pretty spiritual person, and when 2020 hit and acting stopped, I was in this place where I started to pray a lot, and I said, “God, what do I do now? What am I supposed to focus on? What am I supposed to focus on? Because everything seems so chaotic right now.” I heard Him clear as day, he’s like, “Charan, I need you to go have more fun in your life.” I was like, “Well, that sounds awesome.”
Tiffany: That’s an interesting revelation.
Charan: That’s a great revelation. Wait, what? Why? I throw some ideas out, and He’s like, “No, that’s not fun enough for you. Pick something else. Pick something else. I want it to be really fun for you.” I’m like, “Okay. This is bizarre but cool.” Then, I asked Him, “Why is it important for you that I have fun?” He said, “Because when you’re having fun, you’re completely authentic.” I’m like, “Oh.” He’s said, “How much time have you spent living life not being authentic? Living to other people’s expectations because you thought, ‘Oh, I should do this because someone else said that you should do it,’ but you didn’t really, really, really want to do it?”
Charan: I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I put myself in that position way too much. I’ve been lying to myself a lot.” So, I said, “Okay, what makes me have fun?” He’s like, “Yeah, what does make you have fun?” I was thinking and thinking, and for me, sports-wise, I love playing tennis. I’m like, “I’m going to play more tennis. That sounds like fun.” He was like, “Great, go play tennis.” So, I was just trying to go on this journey where it was in a sense taking care of me, and that inspired me to be like, “You know what? I want to just see what other people doing. I want to see what people are doing.”
Charan: Through Zoom, I just started calling my friends and just recording it, and it was for no purpose other than just for the fun of it. There was no expectation of this is going to go somewhere. This is just going to be for fun. And now, I’m the host of this podcast. It literally that’s how this gig came is because one of the guys I interviewed was like, “You need to come be the host of this podcast.”
Charan: So, I did not plan that. It was a thing that happened as a result of me taking care of myself, and that’s when I learned … You were mentioning something about everything being energy. I really believe that the outside world and our inner world are connected, and that if you, instead of worrying so much about like you were saying, giving your power away or thinking, “If this happens, then I’ll have more love for myself or I find myself more credible.” Or, if that happens or if this happens, I’ll be more happy. I learned, “Hey, if you can take care of yourself and love yourself right now, then the outside world reflects it.” It just naturally reflects the love that you have in your heart.
Charan: I have my own practices that I do that help me feel a lot more loved inside, and I know that when things are uncertain and vague and foggy, I’m like, “Oh, this is a perfect time for me to go love myself.”
Charan: Which sounds weird to say, but it’s true. I go focus on loving myself and getting in that meditative space and praying, and I know what it feels like for me to love myself, and as a result of me loving myself, all of a sudden everything just starts flowing.
Tiffany: It’s so true.
Charan: Has it happened in your life?
Tiffany: I love what you were just saying, and I love that it’s … Thank you for sharing that one. But I do believe and I’ve had similar, in my own way, experiences with God and with the Divine of God wants us to be happy.
Charan: For sure.
Tiffany: We forget that sometimes. We make it all about … but just this, “Yeah, go play more,” and you’re like, “Wait. What?” But yeah, because it’s lightening your energy and it puts you more in a joy state, which is more God-like when you’re at a higher light and higher vibration. Just knowing that, so thank you for sharing that, is sometimes I will give myself as well as my coaching clients assignments like that. I want you to go play. Go play for the weekend with your spouse, if applicable. Or go do this thing for yourself, and giving them the space of permission because what I’m after is to help their energy lighten. I want to pop that heaviness that they’re carrying.
Tiffany: So, when you’re like, “What are we going to do?” It’s like, “Well, you’re going to play more right now.” And there are seasons to things, as we know. To everything there is a season, because then there’s going to be seasons, it’s like, “Oh my gosh, I am so busy with so much work.” That season will back for you, so it’s just knowing. It’s leaning in, though, to that light and to that energy. So, I’m so glad … and yes, there have been plenty of times, especially if I feel like my emotions … because our emotions, we feel like, “Whoa.” They can ebb and flow, and if I’m feeling in a funk or off, or I’m feeling fear up or whatever it might be, I love to ask myself the question of what grounds you? Or, what nourishes you?
Tiffany: That’s also in that little self-care guide, but to get clarity on that and then to go back to those things that nourish and ground you. It might be, “Hey, I’m going to get some time in nature. I’m going to get on a hike. I’m going to stop scrolling. I’m going to read a book or do a hot soak or go to yoga.” Or, whatever. Come up with a list of things that nourish you. And I do that for myself, so when I feel in a funk myself or I’m feeling off or something that’s happened, I definitely will come back to taking some time for me.
Charan: For you.
Tiffany: And then I have my regular day-to-day practices, like my morning ritual. I start my day with some intention and reading and prayer. I begin my day that way before I start with the world. I start getting centered. There’s various things that you can obviously practice on all of these kinds of topics, but the foundation is what’s going to center you or bring you back to how you get connected makes a big difference.
Charan: I think it’s super important that you know what connects you back to the root, because if not, then you get tossed and turned and you get pulled away from being centered. The last couple months have been really chaotic for me, in a good way, but in also a very tough way. I finished producing this movie, which was a really high high and it was such a great experience, but then at the same time, in the last two months, I lost four friends through cancer or through heart attacks. Just craziness.
Tiffany: Oh my gosh, I’m sorry.
Charan: It’s okay, but the thing was for some time, I was just like, “Man, I don’t even know what to feel right now. There’s some really, really high emotions that are happening. There’s also some really low emotions.” And I knew if I didn’t take care of myself,and if I didn’t take time to just step away from all of that stuff, it was going to consume me. So, I took some time and I said okay … And even if it wasn’t a very long amount of time, just maybe a couple hours in the day to say, “Okay, this is just for me. I need to take care of myself and center myself before I get back out there, because it’s going to get too crazy.”
Tiffany Peterson Talks About Overcoming Challenges
Charan: But I want to talk a little bit more about our funks that we go through because as entrepreneurs [crosstalk 00:28:53]-
Tiffany: They’re normal.
Charan: We should have our own company called The Funk because we struggle. We struggle. Those are the challenges that we have to face. Has there ever been a time when you were at a really critical low moment where you were like, “Okay, I need to figure out a way to turn this into a lemonade story?” This lemons-to-lemonade story. Anything come to your mind?
Tiffany: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Charan: Would you be open to share?
Tiffany: Yeah. I just feel like we’re already in the vulnerable pool. I’ve already put a toe in. We might as well.
Charan: We got to go in there.
Tiffany: I went through a life experience I never, ever, ever thought I would go through called a divorce. That experience just leveled me emotionally because, again, it messes with the belief system and it was just this “Oh my gosh.” This was so not the path that I thought. Way off path. It was heartbreaking and it shook my belief. It was just so much, and I was in a pretty challenged spot. There was a point … I’m a pretty normally vivacious personality and just love life, and have been known to make things happen, and love people. Oh my gosh.
Tiffany: And I was hardly getting out of bed. One of the gifts of that season of my life is that prior to that, and I’m not proud to say this but it’s true, prior to that experience, I was pretty self-righteous and judgmental, more so as a human. We all work on that at some level, but I had very much this black-and-white thinking, right/wrong, good/bad. And then, here I was. It wasn’t just, “Hey, have some faith or listen to some Tony Robbins.” I was in a dark spot, and really for the first time experienced some dark, dark feelings where getting out of bed or getting showered was a really big deal.
Tiffany: Again, it’s one of those things now I’m grateful for, because they talk about having a broken heart. Well, a broken heart is an open heart. And I was open and malleable and so much needing, where before it was like God and I were good, like, “Yeah, cool. You ride shotgun. I got this” versus “Hey, I really need you, and I got to figure this out and I need healing and so forth.” I went to church one particular Sunday. That was the one thing I was still consistently doing. I went to worship services, and I’m sitting there and this gentleman … I don’t remember who it was … he got up and was giving a talk and he said something that was exactly what I needed to hear.
Tiffany: He says, “Service will heal your broken heart.” I know that can sometimes be positioned as trite, but it’s such a true healing bomb. I made a commitment then. It was like, “Okay, I’m going to at least try to focus on serving some other people and getting outside myself.” I’m a big fan to also believe and support; if you need professional support, get it. There’s no shame in that. That’s great self-care, too. But that really helped me begin to heal, was to focus on including service in addition to the self-work that I was doing to heal my heart.
Tiffany: But that broke me open in a really big way. Sure there’s other things I could share, but I just believe in getting real and the one that came to mind was well, yeah, I’ve been there. I’ve had highs and lows at different things, but I’ve had a few times in life where you’re like, “Wow, this is above my pay grade. This is above my head. I’m going to need some help here and support, and learning a lot of tools over the year.” Prior to that, again, I hadn’t really done a lot of personal growth work to the same level and hadn’t really looked at and done a lot of self-love work, and I was very hard on myself prior to that.
Tiffany: Again, when people are super judgmental, you can probably guarantee that they’re pretty hard on themselves, too.
Charan: They don’t have love for themselves, I don’t think.
Tiffany: Yeah. The criticalness, that has shifted so much in me, where now it’s my empathy and understanding for others and their journey, and for myself, has just been shifted a whole lot over the years.
Charan: I love that. Thank you for sharing that. I’ve never been married, I’ve never been divorced, but I have had definitely relationships not work out. It’s interesting because just recently, I’ve been going through … not really a little bit of a heartbreak, but just from past experiences, past relationships that just didn’t work out, feelings resurfacing recently. And it’s been interesting because a friend of mine is like, “Dude, it feels like you’re being broken up with again.” I’m like, “Yeah, I guess it does seem.” We were laughing about it, but it was true when we were analyzing it and thinking about it.
Charan: But I remember, 2018 was a very, very tough year for me, because I was dating this gal. We thought we were going to get married, and then it just didn’t go that way at all. Interestingly enough, it’s great because we’re all healed from that and we’re good friends now, and she’s married and I’m really happy for her, but 2018 was a really tough year, because it ended in 2017 and then it was just all these feelings kept coming up. A buddy of mine, who became a buddy at a very critical time of my life, really taught me about God’s love. And I’ve always been a believer about God, but he sat with me and we just talked about it and talked about how important that is.
Charan: There’s something so powerful and tangible about actually experiencing it. You can hear about it. You can hear about all these different things, but there’s a difference between hearing about God and experiencing God. Completely different thing.
Tiffany: Amen to that.
Charan: When you experience God and you experience Jesus Christ, that’s who I believe, then it’s like you can never go back to hearing about it because it’s not as … It doesn’t hold a candle to what it felt like to experience God. So that year, there were some times I started to feel just an insane amount of healing, and I knew that it wasn’t anything that I was doing, because I got to a point where I was like, “I got nothing. I got nothing. No tread at all. No tread at all. I need legit healing.” I remember I got to this point where I was feeling … This is going to sound bizarre but I started feeling so … I couldn’t fall asleep anymore because of how happy I was. I was having trouble sleeping because of the joy in my heart.
Charan: And I remember talking to God, I’m like, “Oh my gosh, you got to taper it down, man.” Of all the problems-
Tiffany: You got to shut down this joy. Turn it down.
Charan: Of all the problems that people have that cause insomnia, excessive joy doesn’t seem to be on the list.
Tiffany: Yeah, that’s not usually there. “Hey, Doc. Can you give me a med, because I’m too happy.”
Charan: Yeah, anything to tone down the happiness that’s going on.
Tiffany: Yeah, that’s new.
Charan: It’s a new one. It was a new thing but-
Tiffany: But you are a path finder apparently.
Tiffany: Charting a new path.
Charan: I was, and I apparently charted that in one but it was crazy. I remember being like, this is so bizarre, but yet, it was great because I started to learn, “Oh my gosh, I had no idea I could feel this way.”
Tiffany: That’s sweet.
Tiffany Peterson Talks About Finding Joy
Charan: I had no idea I could feel this good. Moving back to those type of things, what brings you joy right now? Because here’s the deal. 2020 has been a tough year.
Tiffany: It’s been a wild ride.
Charan: It’s been a wild ride, and I’m assuming that because-
Tiffany: It’s like I’m on a bronco that’s bucking and you’re like, “How do I get off this thing?”
Charan: Yeah, you’re like, “Wait, did I even sign up for this? Did I know that this was going to happen?” I remember those rides when you’re sitting on the ship, and it goes back and forth, back and forth, and if you sit on the ends, you go really high and you can feel that thing in your stomach. Do you know what I’m talking about? In the theme parks, they have them?
Charan: Well, in India, I got on one and I sat on the ends of it because I’m like, “Yeah, this is going to be the best.” They were like, “No, no, no. Don’t go there. It’s too high.” I’m like, “This is a little kiddie version. It’s fine.” And then we started going higher, I started realizing, “Oh, now I know why. There’s no seat belts on this thing.” That’s how I feel 2020 …
Tiffany: There’s no seat belts.
Charan: There’s no seat belts. It’s just madness, right?
Tiffany: Well, so what’s bringing me joy, and I think some of the things in the comments you were sharing and bringing it back to some of this entrepreneurship as well, is people have different thoughts and feelings and beliefs about God or universe or Source and so forth, but I think there is so much power in purpose. And whether that’s a higher power, or a chosen intention or this purpose that you feel, I think one of the things that helps ground me through this year and beyond is coming back to purpose. That “why” and that saying, “You know what? I want to be of service and I want to create that.”
Tiffany: Specific things that bring me joy is being on purpose, being in service. A great manicure helps, too.
Charan: Of course, always.
Tiffany: Nine holes of golf and some time on a trail, and hike, or a little boating in the summer, or a little skiing. There’s fun things, but I think it’s, again, just being aware that great people and connections and beauty and art. There’s so much. When I’ve been out in woods, I’ve had this interesting thought, and I don’t know if this is going to translate, because you know how thoughts don’t always come out-
Charan: Yeah, I know. I’m excited. I’m excited.
Tiffany: But I’ve had this thought at different times of being out in nature and nature’s just doing its thing. It’s just on purpose. To everything, again, there is a season. It’s just like nature doesn’t know about the coronavirus, and nature just keeps on doing her thing. The sweetness of how much our fears, our issues, we’re offended, we’re bothered, all the things that are in our emotional where we’re like, “Ew, I don’t like this.” This, “Ew, I’m playing life without a seat belt,” a lot of that is in our thoughts.
Charan: Completely. It’s our narratives.
Tiffany: Yeah, it’s in the narratives. It’s in the thoughts, the stories where you consume the news and then you’re like, “Ugh” versus “Actually, you know what? In this moment, you and I are just fine. We really are.” It’s how we help manage some of those thoughts, and how we embrace uncertainty. What’s been messed with for all of us this year that we don’t often care for as humans is our sense of certainty has been messed with. “Control” is another word for that. Where it’s like normally we know we do X, Y and Z. In your world, it’s acting; my world, there’s been hardly any live events. That’s a big part of my business, right? I’m like what the … are we going to do here? A lot of uncertainty, but it’s just breathing into what do I know works and what are the eternal principles? What can I build my house on? Just like how nature keeps doing its thing, for me, gratitude, big one to hitch your star to, so to speak.
Tiffany: Generosity or service, like we talked about, giving back. Showing up and being good to people, creating great art or great work. Whether someone buys it or doesn’t, or hires you or doesn’t, you’re committed to the process of great art and great work because you love the experience of creating.
Charan: Yeah, the experience is the reward.
Tiffany: Yes. So what you’re talking about is when we feel so much uncertainty, that’s normal. Or how we get, again, grounded is to come back to the things that live forever. Some of those … I’m going to love more. I’m going to serve. I’m going to be grateful. I’m going to see the sunset today. I’m going to put my feet on the earth. I’m going to do the things. I’m going to create the art or the meal. I’m going to connect with people I love. We chose to still do the things that are foundational regardless of what the world’s doing.
Tiffany: You can only control how you show up, so being really clear like, “How do I want to show up on the planet? In my home, for myself, in my relationships, friendships?” We could be here, it sounds like, for three hours because we could just wax philosophical, poetic.
Charan: I know, this is fantastic, man. I love it. Well, it’s so interesting. A friend of mine was telling me … An actor’s life is full of uncertainty all the time.
Tiffany: All the time.
Charan: All the time, right? So, when COVID hit, I was like, “Oh, what else is new?” That was my thought. I was like, “All right, well.” In my mind, it’s just one more thing. My friend pointed out, she’s like, “It seems like you were born to live under quarantine, born to live during COVID times.” I’m like, “You know what? I may have been.”
Charan: The thing was, my life has been full of uncertainty, even as a kid. My parents divorced, things changed all the time. It was like shifting sand. You just didn’t know where the foundation was, but I loved what you were saying about being present, just showing up and just going and doing. Not worrying so much about the outcome, but it’s just being here and doing things and feeling good right now, having the experience be its own reward is magnificent.
Charan: I think that’s where the miracle happens, because then you let that sense of control that you need, you surrender that to the universe or to God, and say, “You know what? I trust you more than I trust myself right now. Will you handle the outcomes? Just handle the outcomes so I don’t have to worry about it. Then, let me just focus on loving in this moment. Let me just focus on being good in this moment.”
Tiffany: So wise.
Charan: Oh, come on.
Tiffany: What a year.
Charan: It’s been a great year. It’s been a crazy year.
Tiffany: We’ve learned some great lessons, and they’re going to continue on, too. It’s not like December 31st hits and we’re like, “Whew.”
Charan: Whew, I’m glad that one’s over.
Tiffany: And even if, and when this is no longer a thing, there’ll be new things that will come along, because part of this human-ing is the experience of joy and pain and excitement and uncertainty all mixed in one big blended experience.
Charan: I don’t know, sometimes I think it’s just going to get crazier and crazier. I’m looking forward to it because this just shows, hey, now is a time to be even more compassionate with each other, love each other more-
Tiffany: And yourself.
Charan: And yourself more, and have that place open so you can be safe enough for other people to come in and share their lives with you.
Charan: Oh my gosh, this is just great.
Tiffany: I love it.
Tiffany Peterson’s Advice to Her Younger Self
Charan: We could keep going forever, but wrapping things up into one final box, if you were to look back at your life and you had a time machine and said, “Oh my gosh, I have the opportunity now to go back in this time machine and talk to my younger self,” what would you tell that younger self? The one that had that predetermined path, that knew that things were just cut and dried, black and white. The one that was all about “my marriage is going to be a certain way, life is going to be a certain way.” What would you tell that person?
Tiffany: That’s such a great question. There’s a few thoughts that come up, but I think, foundationally, what I hear or feel the most is to tell her that to just trust, trust herself more, trust knowing that intuition, trust the flow of life and the guidance and trusting God, and the path. Just to trust more. So much of my life energy that I wish I could get back, and therefore moving forward I’d like to be different about, is just trusting the flow and trusting that things are working together for your good.
Tiffany: Even if you don’t always see it, it doesn’t mean you always have to like it to be so clear. Sometimes you’re like, “Look, I’m going to get Ben & Jerry’s and climb in bed with Netflix tonight because that’s what I really need.” But to trust, really, and I think, too … I think for me, and I can only own my life experience, I spent so much of my life in my earlier years and so forth just being hard on me, as I was mentioning. So, I think being kinder to myself.
Tiffany: Be your own best friend. I know that can sound like a cheesy Hallmark card, but the reality of “I want to be my own best friend,” for me, so much of my life, I learned at a young age that love was attached to approval, so I spent a lot of my life, until I started [crosstalk 00:45:13] … Yeah, people pleasing, let me get your approval because then I’ll feel loved.
Tiffany: And sometimes, if you make approval your god, or what you worship, then you’re so disconnected from your own self that you tie yourself up to try to get the approval of other people to get the love. Not understanding, “You know what? I’m going to give myself the approval and give myself the love. How anyone else feels about me, that’s on them.”
Charan: That’s on them.
Tiffany: But I’m going to show up for myself. Some of these are life lessons you just don’t get until you go through some life. Some of it, you spent a lot of life learning and then you hit a certain point, I think, you spend more of your life unlearning what you don’t need to carry with you any longer.
Tiffany: So, I’d go back to her and say, “Trust, and trust yourself. Trust life.” But I’d also say, “Be your own best friend. Champion you. Care for you. Give yourself the love and approval that you so want to seek outside of yourself, whether through a man or accolades or through accomplishments, and come back to you know what? Give that to yourself.”
Tiffany: Now, it’s a practice-
Charan: It’s a practice.
Tiffany: Because it’s not like, “Oh, check. I did it one time.” It’s, I’m ongoing in that work for myself.
Charan: The beautiful thing is that will pay greater dividends than anything else you could ever do is that act of genuinely, genuinely loving yourself. I know that sounds cliché, but it’s not. It’s true. That’s what we really need, and I think the more love that we have for ourselves, just naturally that cup overflowth, and you will love other people. You can’t not love other people. It just will happen that way.
Charan: Oh my gosh, geez-
Tiffany: Thank you so much.
Charan: No, thank you. Thank you. Are you kidding me?
Tiffany: This has been so fun and rich.
Charan: It’s been so fun.
Tiffany: I didn’t know. I didn’t think we were going to get this deep. I feel like we’ve done a full hour of therapy.
Charan: We did. We really did. I think I’m good for the rest of the year. So, who do I charge? Who do I need to Venmo?
Tiffany: I’ll send you an invoice.
Charan: Okay, if you don’t mind, that would be amazing. No, but seriously, this has been awesome, Tiffany. This has been so good.
Tiffany: Thank you for having me.
Charan: I appreciate you taking the time and sharing your insights. What do you think about the future? What do you think the future is going to hold for us?
Tiffany: Hmm, I think the future holds a lot of possibility. I think there will be beauty and I think there’ll be challenge, and I think a lot of it again is who we choose to be, opportunities to practice a lot of the lessons we’re talking about here. Loving ourselves, loving others, intentional in the way that we show up in relationship, intentional in the way that we have communication, creativity.
Tiffany: But who knows what it’ll bring, but you know what? Hey, I’m up for it. Sign up for that ride. Sit in the backseat. No seat belt.
Charan: Yeah, no seat belt and just see what happens.
Tiffany: Let’s go for it.
Charan: It’s going to be so fun.
Tiffany: It’ll be memorable, at least.
Charan: It’ll be so memorable.
Tiffany: There you go.
Charan: One day, we’ll look back on these days and we’ll laugh.
Tiffany: One day.
Charan: Maybe during it, too. Awesome, well, thank you so much.
Tiffany: Thank you so much.
Charan: You’re the best. Have a great day.
Charan: Thanks so much for listening to The Lemonade Stand podcast, and we hope you enjoyed this episode. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on whatever platform you use to be alerted when we release new episodes. We’d also love to hear your feedback in the reviews, and if you or someone you know has an awesome lemonade stand story, please reach out to us on social media and let us know. Thanks so much, and have a great day.