Rockin’ with Trey Warner
Trey Warner is a force of nature. He has an incredible drive to excel while still being a cool cat. Having had the privilege of working with him on a few projects, I can say that this man is incredibly funny, insightful, and loyal. Hope you enjoy our chat!
Who Is Trey Warner?
Not many people can call themselves self-made millionaires before they reach the age of 30, but Trey Warner can. On top of that, he’s a rockstar and an actor and producer. Simply put, he’s the kind of guy you want to be friends with—and the epitome of cool.
According to Trey’s LinkedIn, he is best described as a Renaissance Man, and we couldn’t think of a better way to describe him if we tried. Trey Warner has had a variety of different interests from a very young age. It just so happens that he excels in many of them. Because of his success, Trey is now a life coach for others, using his talents and success to help other people use their gifts and live the life they desire.
What Does Trey Do?
It would probably be easier to talk about the things Trey can’t do, but a few of his talents include:
- Real estate
- Motivational speaking
A Major Entertainer
Trey has never been shy in front of the spotlight. He is a singer, songwriter, and talented instrumentalist. His musical work has been used for major companies like ESPN, Telemundo, and Lexus. Trey has also written music for trailers and movies. So, there’s a good chance you’ve heard something he’s done!
In addition to music, Trey has also worked as both a model and actor and can help others within the industry to achieve their entertainment dreams too.
Small Sales Beginnings to a Majorly Successful Career
Trey didn’t start out as a millionaire, of course, and his success wasn’t handed to him overnight. He started in 1993 as a door-to-door salesman. But it was apparent even back then that Trey had a knack for working with people and mastering the art of the sale.
He joined with Pinnacle Security and went from a sales representative to the number one salesman in his first year. After recruiting others to join the business, he quickly became a manager and ended up creating more offices and hiring more managers. As a result, his region broke industry records. Trey realized very quickly that he wasn’t just good at making sales; he was good at motivating others to do the same by finding their passion in the things they were doing. Now Trey has taken his own passion and his ability to light a spark in others and has used it to become a life coach and motivational speaker.
While it might seem like Trey’s achievements and endeavors are too much for one person to handle, the man is living proof that you can never stop reaching for your goals and dreams, no matter what they are. Far too many people limit themselves or just believe they can do one thing. Not only has Trey crossed over a variety of different industries, but he has found success doing it. Thankfully, he has been more than willing to share the secrets of his success with others and to “pay it forward” by coaching people on how to use their brain types and personality types to get ahead.
Let’s face it, not everyone will become a millionaire before the age of 30. Not everyone will be able to be an actor or music producer or motivational speaker. But Trey’s multiple specialties make it easy for him to talk to other people about their passions and dreams, letting them know that they don’t have to follow his path in order to find success, contentment, and happiness in their own lives.
If anyone could take one thing away from the life of Trey Warner so far, it would be to never stop reaching for your goals and working to go above and beyond them. Life has been more than a stroke of luck for Trey. He has managed to work his way up in multiple industries through hard work, dedication, and motivation. Now he encourages others to do the same.
Trey Warner Podcast Transcript
Charan: What’s up, guys? This is Charan here, I am with Trey Warner, and this is the Lemonade Stand podcast that we are doing right now. I was so excited that Trey was able to join me on this wild adventure that we’re having, but I want to give a little bit of a preface, a little bit of a background as to how I met Trey, because this guy is, he’s the raddest. I was working on a pilot called “Pen Pals, “and we were trying to cast one of the characters and we kept running into roadblocks, and we’re like, “Man, no one seems to get the essence of this character.”
Charan: All of a sudden, I remembered Trey Warner’s name was kind of floating around in the air, and I thought, “You know, I’ve never worked with Trey, but I know he is hilarious and I’ve seen some the acting he’s done, he’s amazing.” So we cast him, and that was the first time I ever got to meet you. He killed it, he was so funny. But not only were you so funny and so giving as an actor, it was interesting because we were shooting pretty late that night, and around 10:00 or so, everyone was like, “Yep, we got to go, we got to finish up”-
Trey: It was past 11:00.
Charan: Was it past 11:00?
Trey: It was past 11:00.
Charan: It was past 11:00, okay. So it was pretty late, and I just remember thinking, “Oh man, we didn’t get this whole huge section that we wanted to get,” which was going to be so funny. But Trey saved the night for us, because I didn’t feel that it was under, like, I had the authority to say, “Hey, please, everyone stay.” But Trey stepped in and he took one for the team, he’s like … I don’t know how you said it, but you said something to the effect of “All right, who wants to be the one that ruins it for everybody?” or something like that.
Trey: Everyone was kind of packing up shop, and I knew that there was some stuff that was shot, and it’s like, we were all so tired, right? A lot of people really made some sacrifices or helped you out because you’re such a likable guy.
Charan: Oh, thank you.
Trey: Which I thought was, that was very impressive about you.
Charan: Thank you, man.
Trey: Anyway, I just said, “We’ve come so far, why would we stop now when we can just … what’s one more hour? All of our families are asleep, if we’ve got kids, one more hour’s not going to change the world, let’s just finish this. And so who wants to go home and ruin everything?” I think it was something like that. “Raise your hand.”
Charan: Dude, it was so funny. It was one of those moments where I was like, oh my gosh, I love this dude. He saved the production for us, and we were able to get the shots that we needed. It was amazing. But what is also cool, Trey, that I knew you as an actor, that was my world of knowledge when it comes to Trey Warner. But as we’ve become better friends, I’ve come to learn that you do all kinds of cool stuff: you’re in a rock band, you’ve done all kinds of business ventures, and you’ve been very, very successful, you’ve been a very successful entrepreneur.
Charan: I love your approach to filmmaking, because you want to produce things, you want to financially fund movies and whatnot, and you’ve already done some in the past. It’s really cool because there’s so many people that come in from a very, very, what’s it called, like a very creative perspective. Which you do, you also have, but you also have that left-brain, analytical, “Hey, how are we going to do this and how are we going to make money?” I don’t know, I just thought it was so cool.
Charan: As we’ve got to know each other, I really value you as a friend, but I wanted to kind of, the Lemonade Stand podcast is all about the beginnings of business, right? When you’re a kid, you are creating a lemonade stand as your first business or something. I want to talk a little bit about how you got into the world of business and what makes you tick?
Charan: Just from talking a little bit more, you were telling me that, initially, your family had a little bit of money, but then through some bad deals or something, lost a lot of money. And so you guys kind of went from being a little bit okay to being kind of poor, so it’s a little bit of a rags-to-riches story. Yeah, man, I’d love to do a deep dive into that whole aspect of your life. Tell me about when you were a kid and how-
Trey: You’re asking how work ethic or what I did as a kid to make money type of thing-
Charan: Yeah, especially because you came from what you said was not the best of circumstances, in terms of finances, right? But you had some motivation, you wanted to do some business, so yeah, let’s talk a little bit about what you did to make some money and why you even did it, and kind of go from there.
Trey Warner Talks About How He Got Started
Trey: Yeah. I was raised by two fantastic parents, my dad did pretty well out the gates and then a couple bad deals happened where a substantial amount of money was lost, and so went from a bigger Huntington Beach house to a smaller house to an even smaller house, and then we moved to Mesa, Arizona, and lived at Grandma’s house.
Trey: So that’s not easy, I think, for any parent to be in that situation. And honestly, it was hard seeing that. At the time-
Charan: How old were you, would you say, at the time?
Trey: I was probably 12 is when it-
Trey: Well, 10 is probably when it started, but I didn’t quite understand. At 12 I started to kind of figure out why we moved to Mesa, my dad was doing three different jobs, early-morning seminary and doing a paper route. We had to do that with him, and that was horrible.
Charan: Geez, yeah.
Trey: When your body’s growing in your youth, it’s like, sleep was important, so when you get the nudge like, “Let’s go” and it’s 2:30 AM, you’re just like, oh, the smell of papers, I can smell it right now. The rubber bands … [crosstalk 00:07:39] And then my mom worked a lot too, and so we were just, my brothers and sister, we were just put in a position where if we did want something, we had to go get it. A couple of my buddies were, well, a lot of my buddies had jobs and they were laying sod or digging trenches or whatever it was, and I did that a little bit, I’m like, “This is hard. There’s got to be a better way.”
Trey: One time, a guy knocked on our door and he was spray-painting addresses on the curb. And so I saw this and my dad’s there, my brother Scott, we’re just watching this, and I’m seeing him talk, he’s selling my dad, and he was painting these numbers. This was in Huntington Beach, and he was painting a surfer, and then he’s also showing USC, the SC sign, or UCLA, and he would upsell you. He’d show this portfolio, and I’m going, “I could do this. It’s just stencils and paint.”
Charan: You were like, what, 11, 12?
Trey: Eleven, yeah, I was 11.
Charan: Wow, man.
Trey: Scott and I were kind of going, “Dude, let’s do this.” And so we just went door-to-door, all we did was just say, “Hey, your address is a little faded, we’re wondering if we could help you out here.” And they said, “Yeah, how much?” I decide how much it costs, and I could upsell it. It was not uncommon for me and Scott as 11 and 12, 12, 13, 15, whatever, we just did this always to make $40 to $60 in an hour.
Charan: Okay, dude, first off, that’s insane, because as a kid, doing lemonade sales or something, you know you’re doing 10 cents, 15 cents, 25 cents or something like that. You’re hoping, you’re standing outside and you’re hoping, hey, someone will hopefully drive by and will stop and buy some lemonade. But in this approach, you guys went to them, you went door to door, knocked on their doors. How did you have the courage to knock on people’s doors and ask them that type of stuff?
Trey: Well, that’s a great question. To go back to doing lemonade stands, we actually did do that.
Trey: And I became impatient because people were just driving by.
Trey: And that bothered me. I’m not saying it was totally easy to just go knock on a door, but it’s like, when you remove the fear … fear just, fear and comparing us, it’s the killjoy. These are other human beings, and I like when people talk to me. Some people don’t like to talk, and that’s okay. The worst thing that can happen is they say no, and you just keep on going. If the youth and adults can just get past this fear, it really is not that hard.
Trey: If you remove the emotions, all you’re doing, you’re knocking on a door and you’re … sometimes I like to remove sales, like you’re a salesman … I think when I find something that I believe in, I’m more of a, I don’t know if this is a … I’m an informer. I’m just giving them information of something that I believe in. I mean, the curbs, they had it, they’d believe it at some point, and sometimes it’s easier to find the home people look at the curb. And that’s when I said, “Hey, it’ll even be easier, for three dollars more, we can add some graphite and give some nice brilliance at night.” Or five or whatever that was, we could do two sides …
Trey: When you remove that, especially in your youth, if you could learn how to sell or inform, I like to say, because if you believe in something, you’re just giving information and it feels right. If you’re selling something that you don’t believe in, that’s hard. You got to find something you dig, and it’s just like, there’s passion behind it and people can sense that.
Charan: Especially because when you come across authentic and you really connect with people, I feel like, like you said, people are going to sense that and they’re going to be like, “Hey, yeah, I do want my numbers painted on my streets, or I do want whatever it is you’re sharing with me.” Yeah, that’s awesome, man, that’s awesome. Yeah, keep going.
Trey: I learned at a young age efficiency as well, working hard and smart, and working smart is actually more important, but do not remove-
Charan: The hard work.
Trey: -the hard work. When you say you’re going to do something, you do it to the death. That means you don’t sleep that night, that’s your job. Your word, it is crucial, because you are always creating walking, talking billboards. Plus, it’s the right thing to do. But going back to efficiency, so doing a lemonade stand, or we did a lot of shaved ice at that time and candy bars and whatnot, we went to Smart & Final, is where we would go to at that place, and then there were other, different places that we’d go to where you can get things a lot cheaper, you buy them in bulk.
Trey: What we found when it got really, really dark with spray-paint curbs, it was a little bit more difficult. So we did find some softball diamonds where we knew certain snack shacks would not be open, and we’d set up shop there and we would kill it. We would kill it. So it’s like, we would do that, then we’d go there and get that done, and then I also did, I said … I remember hearing a neighbor, this was in Davenport Island in Huntington Beach, somebody was going, “I hate doing trash, taking out my trash. Or I forget.” Sorry, they forgot to take their trash out, it was a husband and wife, they were bickering like, “You forgot again! Why is this the man’s job?”
Trey: I’m just going, Trey’s Trash. So I just went and knocked on some doors and did some flyers, and said “Hey, I’d love to take your trash out,” and created a little business and then had some of my buddies work for me. [crosstalk 00:14:13]
Charan: Dude, that’s unbelievable.
Trey: Yeah, so I’m 11, 12 years old. It turned into this idea that this whole hourly paid thing just did not sit well, it didn’t make sense, because I worked at Zumiez for six hours [crosstalk 00:14:32]-
Charan: Folding clothing.
Trey: Yeah, I’m folding clothes and I’m going, I don’t know what it was, $7.50 an hour, and then I realized how much taxes they take out, I’m going, “Kind of made like 5.75 to fold clothes … ” I remember I went to the manager, I’m like, “I’m out. I’m out. Thank you so much, you don’t even have to pay me for today, I’m out.” Then there was times where I did some hourly paid things, I even worked at the Italian place and did those stuff, did those hours, and it just continued to tell me, “Why are you doing an hourly paid job?”
Trey: A lot of times I think, this is no offense, because everybody’s got, this is for me.
Charan: This is for you, yeah.
Trey: This is just my opinion: I just didn’t like to be kept out, or have somebody kind of decide what I’m worth when I could make so many of these steak sandwiches and be amazing and be wonderful, and I’m not getting paid more. Nobody was tipping me. I’m going, “Man, I could’ve done this or that.”
Trey: I am grateful that we were, my siblings and I, we were forced to work, and there was some hard times for sure, I remember some tears shed. Christmastime was especially tough, and quick story: I learned who did this, I think I was about 14 or 15, it was rough, this particular Christmas. The doorbell rang, we weren’t going to make rent, and we were getting help from our church as well, and some kids made fun of that. That was tough, too.
Trey: But there was one particular day where it was hard, and that night, the doorbell rang … no, I think it was a really hard knock. And I think it was either my younger sister or brother answered it, and there was an envelope there. I remember, “Mom, Dad!” Like screaming, and I think I was one of the first ones to get there, and I just saw a big stash of 100-dollar bills.
Charan: Oh my gosh.
Trey: I remember, I’ll try to not get emotional, I remember looking at my brother and I said, “We got to be that guy.” I always wanted to know who that was, because it changed my life, to see that somebody would be that giving, and especially the timing. I figured out who it was, it’ll blow your … it was Danny Ainge.
Charan: Oh, really?
Trey: It was Danny Ainge. I was talking to his son, and I said, “I got to ask you a question,” because it was one of those paradigm shifts. I want to be able to do this, how I can do this? Because I know there’s a bunch of Treys or Scotts or Dannys, Haleys, Steves, and Kevin and Denise Warners out there that are really good people … my dad was doing three to four jobs at a time sometimes, and they were not stuff that he was stoked on. And my mom, too, doing jobs that were not something that … I kind of knew that they weren’t really proud about, but they had to feed their kids.
Trey: I know there’s a lot of people out there. Anyway, that was a very important moment, so I was telling … “I got to know, did your dad do this?” And he told me, and I got emotional on the phone. I told Danny how much that meant to our family. We were just kind of getting to know him because he lived nearby.
Trey: I also kind of, like … whenever somebody, whatever their religious belief is, there was some moments where I felt like there’s something bigger than me, that we’re all meant to be successful, even if things are that difficult, they are a gift. These hardships, especially talking about right now, with what’s happening out there, I hope that we all choose to learn from this. There’s a lot of people that are really hurting, and they just want to be heard, and maybe certain people are doing things in a way that’s not working well with another person, how they’re hearing what they’re saying. So I just hope that we can all see that there’s something bigger than us that wants us all to be happy and successful.
Trey: That’s been a really strong ingredient for me in my success, and I’ve had many, many failures. Luckily, there’s been more successes than failures.
Trey Warner Talks About Pushing Through Struggles
Charan: Yeah. Let’s talk a little bit about that, actually, because the thing is, you have been very, very successful financially, and you’ve done some really, really cool stuff with it, but I do know, you mentioned to me that it hasn’t been a smooth journey. There’s been some real downfalls, and I’d love to know a little bit about … and you were mentioning a little bit about Jami, your wife, and how that kind of started you on a trajectory to do well, to make yourself financially secure.
Charan: But then with that, you also shared with me some struggles that you’ve had, and I think it’s really important, because you were able to go through the struggles and pick yourself back up. I think that’s the key, right? I’d love to know, let’s talk a little bit about the Jami story, and then how that kind of set you up for your future, and let’s go into the struggles as well.
Trey: Yeah. I served an LDS mission in Spain, Madrid, which was a great experience, and it was hard, too. That was a lot of knocking doors.
Trey: And contacts. Came home, and I always had done music. After the football, I had some struggles in the football area with lower back and a lot of other issues, we won’t even go there, but that was hard for me, too. But I came home, I was in a rock band that was going pretty well, and I just realized that I was going down a path that could’ve been very reckless, and I was really, really just inhaling a lot. There was mass ego, insecurities even though everybody thought I would have zero insecurities, as I’ve learned, but just kind of … I was still a really good guy for the most part, but deep down there was a struggling dude.
Trey: Anyway, I just kind of felt like … I was actually in Manhattan with my brother, meeting some pretty big-time people that wanted me to sign with whatever labels or lawyers or managers, and I just realized how much I was inhaling, and I didn’t really want to admit it, but I was laying down in my bed and Scott was in his, and I just got this feeling that I was done. You’re done.
Charan: That this shouldn’t be your path.
Trey: Something … something. I just said, “It’s over.” My band wanted to kill me, and it was hard, it didn’t make sense, but I knew what was … so anyway, during that time I was kind of hanging out with Jami, and let me just say, I’m not proud of how I treated her, because I did not love myself. When somebody’s got an ego, it’s because they’re struggling with their self-worth. [crosstalk 00:22:47] Yes, yes. And I broke up with her so many … I was an idiot, let’s just say if I were her dad, I would’ve beat me silly. I probably would’ve been put in jail. Yeah. I mean, I wasn’t that bad, but you get the idea. I’ve got three daughters now.
Trey: Anyway, through that process I asked her to marry me, she said yes, and it was like, “Let’s get married tomorrow!” I was just such a ding-dong.
Charan: You said that to her?
Trey: Yeah, we’re trying to figure out how to do this, because I want to be in the … I’m so in the moment sometimes, and she was cool with it. So I’m like, “Well, I guess I’m supposed to ask your dad,” and her dad is Oakdell Egg Farms, you read that book, “The Millionaire Next Door.” Sorry I said that, Kent. But he’s done a lot of good, and he’s done a lot of good for stuff that we could never even know about. He’s just an incredible person, you would never know. He’s the guy that still buys used shoes. [crosstalk 00:23:49]
Trey: Anyway, I ask him, “I’d like to marry your daughter,” and he just asked me questions that freaked me out so much, asked me how I’m going to provide for her, I was a college dropout, wasn’t doing college, I had no money, because I was kind of like, I’m going to do the band, but I wasn’t sure … I already kind of knew what I was supposed to do, but I was like, “I’m in a band,” but no dad wants to hear that.
Charan: Yeah, exactly.
Trey: “My daughter’s marrying a guy in a rock band, like Trey.” They didn’t like me, and they shouldn’t. I said, “Okay, yeah.” He said, “Okay, you can,” then the next day I broke it off.
Charan: You broke it off with her after he said yes? Wow.
Trey: Yeah. Tears were shed, and I remember I wanted to die. We started dating secretly, and then the second time I said, “I do want to marry you,” Mike Young helped me out tremendously—this is Steve Young’s younger brother. They all kind of struggled with certain things that I did, so he was an amazing individual that took me in when I was a wreck.
Trey: But this time around, I said, “Hey, Kent, I would like to marry your daughter,” and so he asked me questions, and I kind of knew what I was going to say, but I didn’t plan on saying this particular thing: he said “So how you going to provide, are you going to go to school?” I said, “Sir, I’m not going to go to school, but I can tell you this, that you have no right to like me or respect me at all. You should dislike me, and I’m sorry for the things that I’ve done, but I’m going to tell you this, I’m not going to go to school. I will provide for your daughter. In fact, your daughter married a millionaire.” And he kind of did a … and then I was in the moment, and I said, “In fact, I’m going to do it before I’m 30.”
Charan: Yeah. Now at this point, how much money had you even made at this point?
Trey: [crosstalk 00:26:02] As far as what I had, I remember I had, like, five grand … because I was doing the band, so I wasn’t making, I was making enough money to survive and do certain things, but that money, I spent, I think it was $4,600 on a ring, because I thought maybe if I get a bigger ring, the forgiveness will be better.
Trey: And then that was stolen three days later.
Charan: The ring was?
Trey: Yeah, it was stolen.
Charan: No way.
Trey: Yeah, it was gnarly. So yeah, that was said, and I was like, well, I better do it, I guess.
Charan: Yeah, you said it, yeah.
Trey: And I’m like, like I said, your word-
Charan: Is your bond.
Trey: -is everything. The goal is set and I set it, whether I … I didn’t know I was going to say it, but I said, I’m going to do it. And so it’s like, what do I got to do? So I read “Rich Dad, Poor Dad,” I actually was kind of sitting bored in my grandma’s house and I saw that book, and I went, “I guess I’ll read it.” And by the way, I had only read two books in my life.
Trey: From the beginning to end, and I’ll tell you, I’d read them on my mission: the Book of Mormon and “Timeline” by Michael Crichton.
Charan: I’ve read that one, too.
Trey: My companion was sick and I read it in two and a half days. And I’m like, “I’m going to read so many books, this is fascinating.”
Trey: And then that didn’t happen.
Trey: But anyway, I saw that book and I’m reading it and I’m like, it just made so much sense to me. I think I read it in a day.
Charan: “Rich Dad, Poor Dad.”
Trey: I read it in a day. I couldn’t put it down, I’m going, “I know what I got to do. I just got to knock doors and direct to consumer. And then when I get that money, I’m going to buy real estate … ” Everything kind of-
Charan: It clicked in your mind.
Trey: -it clicked in my mind. I wasn’t going to do school, I know that I could sell, so I went door-to-door and made some money there, and here’s the other thing: there’s actually a talk by Elder [Henry B.] Eyring that was given, and it talks about making the decision before the situation comes, pretty much is what the idea was. And so there’s a lot of people that make money and they don’t know where it’s going, so then they turn into what I call a weekend warrior. This happens with kids, the youth, you got to spend money to … I call it “peacocking,” you just got to show your wings, “I got something so I can impress.” You get a mate, you see this a lot when you go tp BYU or UVU now. For me, it was a lot of that happened at the Belmont or what was it … I’m trying to think of the other places where I saw a lot of peacocking.
Trey: I was looking for Arlington, I was looking for Arlington. I kissed a lot of girls in that space.
Charan: That’s good.
Trey: I was an idiot.
Charan: It’s all good.
Trey: Anyway, maybe take that out of the edit. But if you don’t know where your money is going, it’s going to be really hard to keep it, because something’s going to happen, there’s going to be the next, it’s crazy, TVs are fascinating. I will see people buy these brand-new TVs, but in six months, you can buy them for 80% off because the next thing came out. It’s like people buying these depreciating assets are crazy.
Trey: If youngsters can learn this young and be disciplined … every time I got my back end, you can ask anybody that did work with me. I mean, that was out of my account and it was in an investment, period. And sometimes my wife was frustrated because she did see what some other people were getting, but I just knew I wanted out of this as fast I could, and the whole idea of retiring at 60, I didn’t like that. That didn’t sit well at all. I’m like, “60? Dude, I want to be being able to sprint when I’m retired. I want to do it by whatever age and have fun.”
Trey: And it can be done, it’s not … a lot of people say, “So tell me, what do you think, or how can I be XYZ?” I’m like, “It’s not rocket science. You can get a Harvard education on YouTube right now.” You could learn so much, and it’s free.
Trey: I’m just talking a ton right now.
Charan: No-no, it’s okay. Here’s the thing: you’re inspiring me big time, because I look at the fallacies of my own thinking and think, you know what? I was the guy, until after, I don’t know, in my 20s when I decided, hey, I want to go into film, I was the guy that was just doing the hourly thing, you know? I was just getting a job because it was security, it was like, hey, you know what? I am limited right now, but it’s okay because I’ve got security, I’ve got a little bit of money coming in, and that’s fine.
Charan: But I’m in a situation where I think, wow, I wish … I’ve got some money in investments and all that stuff, but I wish I had learned at a young age, even when I was 11 or 12, the idea of, hey, instead of just waiting for things to happen or doing an hourly type of situation when you’re 16, what if you just went for it in thinking, “How can I manage these teams?” That was one of the things that you did, you managed sales teams, right? You weren’t just selling alarm systems, you started managing people and started seeing residual income, I’m assuming, come from their sales or whatnot, right? Which is amazing.
Trey Warner Talks About What Matters Most
Charan: I do want to talk real quick about some of the struggles, some of the pitfalls that you’ve had, because even though you’ve had those pitfalls, you’ve been able to keep going. And that’s an important lesson, I think, because a lot of times, a blow, a huge blow, that can kind of rock you off your foundation, you’re done.
Trey: It scares people-
Charan: It scares people.
Trey: -off, and then they go back to their vomit, it’s like a dog to its vomit, because you get scared … which is a very, I am very empathetic towards that human emotion. Fear is crippling, and I have experienced that, where it’s so debilitating, so my heart goes out to people. And what I will say to that is there are a couple times where I built a pretty large team at Pinnacle Security, and Todd Peterson actually recruited me numerous times to join Vivint, and a lot of me wanted to go there. It’s just, if I left it would’ve hurt my brother, it would’ve really hurt the company, and I just, I couldn’t do it.
Trey: And then he gave me a lot of fair warning about what he is doing with what he could tell me, because he was doing a deal with Blackstone, and I still chose to stay. So there’s no animosity towards anybody in this situation, but pretty much all, the majority of my team was purchased. And there was nothing I could do, I could not match the bonuses that some of these individuals were given, and it was unbelievably, that was a crippling moment. Like, there were some tears there. I felt betrayed of how I helped out so many people. I didn’t even get a shot.
Trey: So when I removed the personal side of things, which can be crippling. When you look at it logically, it makes absolute sense why these individuals left me or my team, because it was better, period. And they have to look after themselves, and that’s the truth. I have learned, this is something to add with this, I have learned for me the two relationships that matter most … I’ll ask you this, anybody that is still listening that isn’t too bored by what I’m saying, when I say what relationship matters most? There’s your moment, do you have it? Great. I believe it’s the one with yourself and your Heavenly Father.
Charan: I literally was going to say that.
Trey: And a lot of people, that’s my spouse or my … and the whole idea of, when you’re in a plane, they say to put the oxygen mask on first. When somebody hears it, I’ve heard people say, “No, that’s selfish.” No, it’s actually the most selfless thing you can do. If you’re in a place where you understand that you have a father in Heaven that loves you unconditionally, unconditionally, there’s power there. No matter what you do, and I’ve learned this, because I sometimes struggled with that relationship, that I was never enough, and that kind of went into that space, too, in the spiritual side of things.
Trey: But when I had my own kids, I realized that no matter what they did, and I kind of run with some things that they did that would just be heinous, I went down that to just try to understand this relationship. I believe that His love is just infinite and unconditional, so if I feel this love for my daughters, wow, right? So when you have that, and then knowing that you have value, nobody ever decides what your value is.
Trey: I remember a guy, I went to a couple, I’ve been to some 12-step programs before, and I remember a guy said this to me, and it fricking rocked me. I was silent when he said this. He said, “Trey,” because I love to put on a show, I love being in front of people, I thrived off of that and I inhaled that, and as I’m trying to figure out what was wrong with me, I was inhaling a tremendous amount. But he said, “Trey, could you live life if nobody ever said ‘thank you’ or praised you again?”
Trey: Dude. I just remember I just went silent, and I was trying to hide my anger and emotions. It was such a sobering question to where it goes back to those two relationships, that if I’m doing certain things to get praise or to maybe … I loved when somebody found out that I did something good-
Charan: Awesome or cool.
Trey: -in secret, but hopefully maybe the news will talk about it. I kind of learned to just, I don’t want anybody to know.
Trey: And it is so satisfying. So going back to the Vivint, I kind of went off on a tangent, but hopefully it makes sense, that when I remove the personal side of things and looked at it, that this same individual, he said, “So what can you learn from this? In all this, how are you accountable?” Not jumping and finger-pointing and doing things like that, what can I own of mine? Not trying to change Charan or how this person did me wrong. What can I own? And then remembering those relationships.
Trey: I don’t have enough time to tell you just the gifts that came along there, but I remember one time my wife said, “Okay, so let’s say you did go with Vivint. What are you doing? You’re making more money? Are you happy?” Because I loved the job in certain ways; it’s not what I wanted to do. It’s not ever what I wanted. It was a means to an end, and so what happens is, the comparison, the killjoy, because some of my buddies that went there when we started, Jared Young, Jason Brown, Scott Brown, these guys were wonderful men, Bodie Gardner, Casey … they all chose to write, the first part, just like, “I’m better than them!” What? Come on, man.
Trey: Just that whole idea, it’s like, no, this is part of my journey. “Come what may and love it,” right? And Jami just said, “Okay, so you’re not doing what you love, maybe Todd did you the greatest favor, because then I can do”-
Charan: What you’re doing right now.
Trey: Film, music, which is all I’ve dreamed about, actually, since I was a kid. Except I kind of threw fame into that.
Trey: Somebody just asked me yesterday, “Why do you want to be famous, Trey?” I don’t want to be famous, I just would love to have a platform to just say, “Hey, life is good,” and just do anything to help a lost soul like myself in a lot of ways, and just have people see love and get rid of judgment. I believe that there’s a loving Heavenly Father, and that’s cool. That is rad, man. That is a wonderful thing to talk about and to celebrate.
Charan: Kind of wrapping up, I just think, as I’m listening to you, it’s so interesting how sometimes we put so much energy because we want to make money, but we’re going up the wrong ladder, right? It’s not authentic for us, anyway. Like what Jami was saying, Todd might’ve done you the greatest favor, because he helped you see-
Trey: I love Todd, that guy’s a wonderful human being.
Trey Warner’s Advice for His Younger Self
Charan: Yeah, and he helped you to see this isn’t what you wanted to do to begin with. This was, like you said, a means to an end, but this was not the end, right? I don’t know, I guess the last thing I was going to ask you is, what would you tell the younger Trey right now? Your wisdom right now, your understanding, your relationship with your Heavenly Father, what would you tell the younger Trey?
Trey: There’s a lot, I’m going to try not to talk forever. I think what pops in my head is … I remember one time, I know I’ve kind of got … this is my story. I’m going to bring up something spiritual again. There was a time where I was just in a really, really horrible, horrible place. I had physical pains, mental pains, emotional pains, and I’m just like, it’s one of those moments where it’s just like, I don’t want to commit suicide … I hope I’m not going too dark. This was just my reality. But I wouldn’t mind getting hit by a truck, because I felt like I had everything I dreamed about, but I felt like I had nothing, and there was other things going on that were very difficult.
Charan: I always tell people, one of the worst things, other than not having your dreams come true, is to have your dreams come true and realize you are not happy at all.
Trey: Oh, yeah. And that’s the epitome of what I was experiencing. So there was some tough things going on. I won’t share that; let’s just say it was hard, it was dark. I had this very straightforward … if it was my mind, whatever it was, but it was this: “Do you believe in me? Not me as … do you believe in this idea that there’s a Father in Heaven?” I’m like, “Well, yeah.” “You’re okay. You don’t think I can handle this stuff with you? I love you so much that sometimes I got to smack you on the bum, which may seem very hard, but I love you so much that I’m giving you a gift to grow. I want your ears to get bigger and your heart to get bigger, and I want you to listen, you need to shut up. You’re talking too much. Listen, humble.”
Trey: It’s like, a lot of these trials that we face, we choose to see the glass as half-empty when they’re all just such gifts, because how many times have we gotten out of something very difficult? Now when somebody comes to you with that problem, you’re like, “I get it.” You’re able to listen with empathetic ears, not sympathetic, and you’re saving people’s lives. I believe in that stuff, so what I would say to a kid is like … or to Trey, “If you’re honestly giving it your all, and you’re going to fall,” because sometimes when I fail, I would go “I have failed” and I would get stuck on it.
Charan: [crosstalk 00:43:31] Yeah.
Trey: I would say, “Trey, there’s something bigger, you’re going to fall, and you’re still loved. You’re still loved. If you’re not falling, you’re not trying very hard. Falling is a part of life, it is a gift to fall and to sometimes fall so hard, it is a gift to screw up, it is a gift to lie sometimes and realize, I probably shouldn’t do that. It’s a gift to … ” I can go on and on. What can I learn from this, how am I accountable on this? The two relationships, and you just keep on going. And it will work out, that is promised. And it’s like, you are meant to be successful. That’s what I’m telling … I would get so hard, I was always a self-whipper, I guess you could say.
Trey: There’d be some more, but that would be the gist.
Charan: That’s awesome, man.
Charan: Well, Trey, seriously, I feel like these interviews are, I don’t know, I get so much out of them, you know what I mean? I guess I’m the one doing the interviewing, but honestly, I’m the one learning the most, and I really appreciate you taking the time to sit down with me and chat about these important things.
Charan: I’m hoping that the youth can listen to your story and get inspired to create on their own and to know that, “Hey, you know what? Even if you fall, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay, because you’re loved. You’re loved, and you can keep moving forward, and whatever dreams you may have, just to keep going and just to know that everything’s going to be okay.”
Trey: Life is good.
Charan: Well, yeah, life is great. Well, thanks again, Trey, I really appreciate you taking the time. Okay.
Trey: I love those guys, good cookie.
Charan: Ah, come on. All right.
Charan: Thanks so much for listening to the Lemonade Stand podcast, and we hope you enjoyed this episode. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on whatever platform you use to be alerted when we release new episodes. We’d also love to hear your feedback in the reviews, and if you or someone you know has an awesome Lemonade Stand story, please reach out to us on social media and let us know. Thanks so much, and have a great day.