My wife shared a quote with me the other day that has really had a profound impact on me. It was about a certain principle in life that I have been trying to improve about myself lately.
Let me share a little bit about that before I jump into that particular quote.
A book that we read a while ago for the Lemonade Stand Book Club is called “The Go-Giver.” It’s an awesome book and one that I always recommend to everyone I meet. My favorite principle from this book is the final lesson that is learned: “The Law of Receptivity.”
This “law” states that “The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.”
What this is getting at is that in every situation where someone wants to give of themself, there is both a giver and a receiver. There is no possible scenario where there can be just one or the other.
Generally, anyone who wants to “make a difference” or “institute change” in the world is someone who wants to be a giver. They want to give more of what they have or share what they’ve been able to gain.
This is great!
Oftentimes, though, those are the same type of people who love to refuse the help of others. It’s the selfless sacrificer who gives it all but wouldn’t ever even think about asking someone else to help them. They would hand deliver your left shoe to your ancestor’s grave in the middle of China without even a second thought and for no reason other than the fact that you needed some help with your situation – but if you offered to vacuum off the mat at their front door, they couldn’t possibly fathom inconveniencing you with such a grand task!
This is not so great!
According to the law of receptivity, if we want to truly be good “givers” and help promote a sense of giving in the world, we need to be just as open to receiving the giving of others as we are to being the ones giving.
For me, this is a really difficult concept to swallow. I don’t always like letting people do things for me or giving me their time or energy.
Either way, it’s something that we all need to master if we want to be better at giving to other people.
The quote that I have been referring to is a perfect embodiment of this idea.
I’m not sure who actually said this or where it comes from, but dang! It’s so powerful!
It’s a very simple concept, but it goes like this: “If you want to make a friend, let them do you a favor.”
I know a lot of people that struggle making new friends but are always feeling lonely. As a whole, humanity suffers more from depression, anxiety, and loneliness than we ever have before.
I know that a huge contributing factor to this is that people don’t feel like they have friends to turn to.
So, if you need a friend, if you need someone to lean on or to talk to, try letting someone do you a favor. Don’t be afraid to ask someone for help.
Most people want to give. Honestly, they’re probably looking for a friend just as much as you are. Ask them to help you out. You might be surprised at how willing someone is to help you!
Even easier – just stop telling people that you don’t need their help! If you need a friend but are turning down every last person who ever offers to help you out with something, you’re probably your own worst enemy. It might not even take you the effort of going out of your way to ask someone to help you out. Just stop saying no to people who want to help you!
There isn’t much out there that makes you feel the way that you do when you are giving of yourself to serve another person. I have found that I am happiest in life when I forget about myself and my wants/needs and focus all of my energy on serving other people.
I feel more love and appreciation towards that person that I was able to help. Growing closer to them and bonding with them is the natural result of me helping them. I’m also generally more inclined to ask if I can help them again or spend more time with them.
It’s interesting that we feel this way when we serve somebody else, but it goes against our natural thought pattern to think that someone would feel this way about us if they have the chance to serve us.
We always jump to “Oh I don’t want to inconvenience them.” or “I can’t ask someone to help with that! That would be taking advantage of them and their kindness.” When, if someone were to ask us to help them paint their garage, we’d respond with “Oh I would absolutely love to help you with that! That sounds so fun!” And we would really mean it!
Why, then, is it such a far-fetched idea that somebody would have those same thoughts and feelings if they were asked to help us paint our garage?
Most of the time, people aren’t just willing to help each other out. They genuinely want to! People crave opportunities to serve other people. It’s how we’re built!
When you let someone else help you out, you are actually providing them an opportunity to feel fulfilled and much happier than if they had to just sit around at home with their extra time. It’s almost never as much of an inconvenience as you might think it is – and, who knows?
You might even get yourself an extra friend out of it!
Our team would love to be your friend while also helping you to grow your business! Send us a message and let us see how we can help you out!